Ill Just Buy Wax Lips

I recently started dipping scoal pouches. A year ago last month I started smoking. Two years ago last month I began drinking rather heavily. Apparently, because of these plain facts, I am a fucking superhuman. My teeth look fine (besides the fangs...but thats a whole different problem..), my gums remain intact (besides the gingevities and severe case of syphillis beginning to spread up there), and my liver is alive and kicking (besides the hole I may have put in it after my trip to Canada last summer).

The thing im trying to say is that, while it seems like 90percent of the people I meet want me to know I am going to die painfully and probably lose my testicles as a result of my bad habits, they are merely douchebags. God knows I probably will die younger than them....but thats ok. While im alive, im going to blow smoke and spit snuff in their paths as often as possible. Its called karma motherfuckers. I die young, you get to deal with me until than.

What really bugs me about these people is that they have so much time and so many resources at their disposal. Name a person that takes offense to your unhealthy habits and I will name a person who never worked 40 hour weeks or had to deal with real world problems. This is probably because people who have to get on with their lives and work to get by tend to experience this crazy feeling called "stress". And no...this form of stress is nothing like that "hectic" work schedule you grad students love to bitch and moan about while downloading new Phish songs. It involves getting fingers caught in machinery, getting bitched out by a boss who wears hair plugs and a bluetooth, even a piece of shit car that breaks down in front of some hot jogger or mom with a stroller every time you get past 2000 rpm. Thats stress. Sometimes stress is best defeated with suppresion or...yes...a bad habit. A therapist can only offer you an opinion. Sometimes talk is cheap. Sometimes smoking is good.